I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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