Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Ladies don't puke and tell
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
