What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
