If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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