If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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