chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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