I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
