Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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