Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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