no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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