If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
