so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
