I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
