I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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