i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
