he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
