Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
