it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
