I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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