you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
