yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
