Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
