Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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