The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
