Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
