it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize