hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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