I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
