he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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