I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
