Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I want her autograph on my taint
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
A+ Viking dick
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
