So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
