Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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