I think I am morally bankrupt
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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