come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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