i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
