Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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