i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
