i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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