Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize