But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
