I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
