I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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