but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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