Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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