Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I need water and some morals
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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