i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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