he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
