i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
