Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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