Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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