she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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