you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
