Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
