I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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