You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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