I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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