I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
