ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
