Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm at about main and main street
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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